| grey would be the color, if i had a heart |
[May. 30th, 2007|08:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Flyleaf - Something I Can Never Have | ] |
i feel so cheated right now.
so small.
so lied to.
and i feel like a liar myself.
why didn't i say anything earlier?
all the dirty looks and snide remarks anytime i'd start fighting for what i felt. not even what i'd been told, but what my gut, my heart was telling me.
here i am. in the same spot she put me last time. why didn't i say anything earlier when i felt i should?
she's laid this big burden, this big secret on me. and now i have to keep it. i can't tell anyone, because that's not what real friends do. but i can't tell her what i think, either.
please, please pray for our family. |
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| YOU AINT GOT NOTHIN' ON ME |
[May. 24th, 2007|10:16 pm] |
JAMI sent this to me and I decided you all needed to laugh as hard as I did :D |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2007|04:06 pm] |
I'm in one of those life-is-so-completely-and-fantastically-beautiful-moods. Listen to this song. The whole thing. It's beautiful.
mewithoutYou - In A Sweater Poorly Knit
I love Jesus. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 12th, 2007|07:32 pm] |
This video has a strange message.
It's such a beautiful song. A Perfect Circle has an amazing sound. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2007|05:29 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Paramore - For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic | ] |
O-M-GOSH
There are NO words to express how absolutely, unbelievably, undeniably, ridiculously, phenomonally, outragiously, and AMAZINGLY incredible Paramore was last night.
SIMPLY NO WORDS.
Got to St. Andrews at 5. Stood in line for an hour. Got front row until I felt like I was gonna pass out. Then right before Paramore played I got right back in there.
And MAN when Hayley and Paramore enter the stage, there's a presence that's unlike any band I've ever seen. I mean wow, there's no way to describe it.
It was every bit of amazing that people have talked about but MORE.
I got 6 INCHES from Hayley Williams hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OHMAN OHMAN OHMAN it was SOOOOOOOOOO INTENSE!!
MORE LATER!!!!!!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE PARAMORE!!
Me and Zack were talking about not showering after the show. Haha, just go to school and kids will be like; "MAN what is that STENCH?" and that's where I go;
"THAT'S Paramore mildew"
So great. So so SO great. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2007|11:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mewithoutYou | ] |
Went to Serendipity Cafe to see Stab You In The Face and a couple other bands.
One of the guys from the best band that played came up and was talking to me, it was really cool. He reminded me of the love Hayley Williams and the rest of Paramore has for their fans. It was awesome hanging out with him. He was a cool guy.
Drank a WHOLE Rockstar energy drink by myself [for the first time]. Never had a whole energy drink to myself because they're so bad for you :D
LET ME TELL YOU I felt like I was drunk :D
Hung out with Charity/Jammerz/RyanGraham/Casey/Jordan/Lynette/Josh/Matt.O/MattyPatty/Matt.S/Chelsea/Jade/Calla/Andrew/Corrin
I seriously love these kids! It feels so tight nit. Really close even thought there was like 15 of us :D
Then this girl who was SOOOO nice started talking to me about mewithoutYou and then she asked me if I liked Paramore and i was like "i... LOVE.... paramore" and she agreed. I love meeting nice people who right off the bat you can tell they like you.
It was suuuuch a fun night!!
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| WE NEED A BANDAGE TO STOP THE BLEEDING |
[Apr. 28th, 2007|11:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Alexisonfire - Rough Hands | ] |
I really want more than anything to be what He's called me to be.
I think I'm ready to take the steps. I'm done being wishywashy. I'm done fighting for what I'm not.
I know what makes my blood pump. I'm ready to grab that and stick to it. I pray that God makes my heart right.
Please pray for me.
Listen
Listen to beautiful music. Really moody stuff. Not the cheery stuff on the radio. Really find something dark and slow and beautiful and mind-blowing and just listen.
55My flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56By eating my flesh and drinking my blood you enter into me and I into you. 57In the same way that the fully alive Father sent me here and I live because of him, so the one who makes a meal of me lives because of me. 58This is the Bread from heaven. Your ancestors ate bread and later died. Whoever eats this Bread will live always.”
JOHN 6:55-58 |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2007|05:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My geetar strings | ] |
16“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. 17God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. 18Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.
John 3:16-18
I really like the Message Bible.
I really love writing music.
I really love God.
BYTHEWAY does anyone know of anything going on this weekend? I mean, so far we've planned on just chilling over at Alyse's house if we can't find anything better to do.
Then on Saturday Anthony wanted to hang out, apparantly there's a show in Livonia that's kickin'. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 25th, 2007|05:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Fall Of Troy | ] |
I LOVE JAMI |
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| Oh I never meant to brag |
[Apr. 22nd, 2007|10:40 pm] |
Hayley is breathtaking. I can't wait to see Paramore :D
Paramore- "Misery Business"
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| We have got to take cover, brother |
[Apr. 21st, 2007|04:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Organ | ] |
I could just really really really use a big hug right now.
I don't know why I can't figure my own self out. :[ I'm sorry guys if this is confusing.
I want face. I want hands. I want arms. I want my friggin best friend to be here instead of on the phone because sometimes all you need is the comfort of your best friend. But I can't swallow the fact that she's not here. And I don't get to see her when I want. She's there for me as much as she possibly can be and I love her for that. I wish she were in Michigan.
Sometimes I just get so tired of myself. And so tired of trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me. Like I'm trying so hard to 'find myself' and figure out 'who i am' and all that Doctor Phil crap. It's like spiritually and emotionally there's this big hole in my heart. And it's driving me mad. I'm ditching school just so I don't have to sit all day and think constantly about this feeling.
BUt then when I'm home all I want is to be around people.
I don't know what's making me cry. Well I sort of do.
I sound like Doctor friggen Phil here but i just wish I could figure out what I am. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2007|01:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ladytron | ] |
Went home from school yesterday because periods suck. Thankfully my mom still let me go out with friends.
Anthony came over and then Me + Anthony + Jordan + Lynette got in Jordan's car to pick up Kayla and her friend Andrew. IT was GREAT shoving the four of us back there ;D ;D ;D
THen we went and watched Charity + The Dry Leaf Project + Two other sucky bands play in Bellville. Me and Anthony got bored after TDLP so we decided to snoop around the church [it's weird going to a church for a show]
But we found this room of random cookies and this GUHROOOOSS looking pizza. Hahaha we both picked up cookies, took one bite out of them then set it down. Anthony even went around finding anything he could just to take one bit out of it and leave it there for people to look at ;D
Then we got on this piano and wrote a little jingle together. It was cute how excited he got about the three notes we formed :D
Then we went to Taco Bell where he ripped up pieces of straw wrapper and made it say my name.
Then we went home and for not likeing hugs, Anthony gives good ones.
I love Jim. He's really an inspiration to me. I can tell we connect with the passion for music. ANd I love Ryan Graham and his rat tail. Some people have braces. Some people have tattoos. Ryan Graham has a rat tail. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 18th, 2007|04:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  moody | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bright Eyes - Landlocked Blues | ] |
I just want to write music and cry and laugh and be held and scream and freak out and dance all at the same time.
And I don't know why. |
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| I know it's impossible |
[Apr. 17th, 2007|04:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lismore | ] |
but sometimes I really really wish I could be everything she needs to get better. i read what she says and my heart goes out to her but it feels like there's next to nothing i can do. i mean really, i can't do anything but pray for her. which i am doing, believe me. i pray for Hilary every day.
i've known this girl since i was what, 6? 7? i grew up with her man. i care about her as if she were my own blood.
she inspires me, she does. to live. i think she's one of the most strongest influences of my life. she's a lot of what makes me who i am, and what i think and what i believe.
i know that seems a bit dramatic, but i'm just trying to paint how unique this girl is. that's why it's so puzzling to hear the things i hear from her lately. geez i know she's human. i know she's got huge problems going on with her family. but it just seems like she should be so much stronger than this depression. dude, i freaking LEARNED to be strong from this girl.
i'm so scared for her. the things she's saying are really getting me worried. and i'm def praying for her. please, if you pray, just keep her in your prayers and thoughts. thank you. i love you all.
God she's so beauitful. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2007|02:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Almost | ] |
My dad bought our Paramore tickets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am SO excited. Ahaha they WILL NOT postpone THIS one :D
SO my parents are leaving to go to Texas because my dad graduated his Bible class thing. So Roxanne [for those of you who don't know, that's my older sister] and her hubby Rob and their baby Reagan are coming over to make sure me and Lynette don't throw any wild parties or have promiscuous sex or take drugs or burn the house down or simply sit online all night.
I'm excited though. I love my neice. And Roxy and Rob.
My mom keeps telling me all these common sense things like "and don't play your guitar, Jen if Rob's trying to sleep. And take showers at night so you don't wake them up. And don't wake them or the baby up ever."
Thank you Mom. Before you told me that I was planning on turning my amp all the way up at midnight. :D
I love my mom :D |
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| Examine these beautiful faces |
[Apr. 14th, 2007|09:39 am] |
| [ | where i'm at |
| | Music Land | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Devil Wears Prada | ] |
making a day trip out of going to the DIA. me and jordan talked about getting something to eat down there then going around town looking for sweet photography oppurtunities. or just plain riding around in the car listening to hardcore looking at the buildings would be sweet. i'm in the mood for a lake or something. ???
the last time I went to the Detroit Institute of Art, i was about 9 and really couldn't admire the work. i thought it was all boring. but now i can actually appreciate.
and it's jordan's first time going! so this'll be exciting.
dude, i'm so lucky to have jami as a best friend. i really am. i love that girl to pieces. and she actually treats me like she cares about me.
NOT mentioning any names but i've had some pretty crappy 'best friends'.
even Lynette adores jami. which usually doesn't happen. most times lynette can't stand my friends/best friends because she sees they treat me like pooop.
heck my MOM loves jami! and my dad doesn't complain about me talking to her anymore so taht's good. i think they're getting over the fact that she's gay.
my mom is always all motherly when i mention jami. she's all "oh we need to be praying for that babygirl. how is she?".
i love my mom.
i love my jami.
i love. i really do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2007|02:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Sounds | ] |
Hung out with Ana and Nathan and Carly last night.
It was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
Still in the dumps about Flyleaf. I should be getting ready for it. I should be straightening my hair and feeling the adrenaline flow through me the way it always does before a concert.
:[
Oh well. It's only postponed so they'll reschedule it. And they say all tickets previously bought will be "honored" at the newly rescheduled dates.
SO it's all good.
God will provide, the way he always does.
Hanging out with Jordan and [hopefully]Lauren/Charity/Jammerz? and others?
W00t! |
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